What's keeping us stuck? What's holding us back? What is it that blocks us from fully delivering our strengths in the work place and to the world? I think it's often a misunderstanding or mis-characterization of humility.
This one is a little different than the “Doesn’t Everyone?” deception although they are often linked. Depreciation goes further than simply feeling that you have nothing special to offer. Depreciation is more of an “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not valuable” mindset. The Depreciation Deception moves from “I have nothing special to offer” even lower to a “I have nothing to offer” viewpoint. I find people mix these first two deceptions up and even move back and forth between the two or combining them.
What makes this deception particularly pernicious is that it often comes all dressed up as humility. A religious halo is then thrown on top to make it seem more valid. But properly understood, humility is thinking highly of others, not less of your self.
Terry Mante, an author and coach from Ghana suggests that humility is a strength with at least 3 parts. They are composure, circumspection, and consideration.
Composure is refusing to let negative emotions drive your actions. It is strength with a bridle. It is under control. Mante offers up Nelson Mandela as a resent historical example of composure and humility during the events following his release from a South African prison. Mandela was incarcerated on Robin Island from 1964 to 1990. Instead of focusing on revenge for false imprisonment and unfair treatment, he chose instead to focus on issues of reconciliation and development in his country. As Mante says, “Humility is a choice we make to focus on higher issues.”
Circumspection is taking the necessary time to examine weighty decisions. I would call circumspection “decision making in 360”. It’s taking the time to notice all the factors around us. Circumspection is noticing who is impacted and how. It’s about considering potential risks and consequences as well as opportunities. The circumspect person risks being seen as slow and timid. The reality is that they are exhibiting intellectual dexterity and discipline.
Consideration is about paying attention to the feelings, difficulties, and circumstances of others before taking action. While offering Jesus as the ultimate example of consideration Mante writes:
“Think about Jesus; a man considered to be part of the Triune God. As the second person of what Christians call the Trinity, Jesus has all power at His disposal including power over life and death. He has power to restore life to the dead, command the storms of the sea and walk on water. He is the one who died and resurrected on the third day of His death – a man of tremendous power and authority; a man who was also God.”
“In spite of all that, Jesus appeared on earth as a natural person, served God and humanity and got Himself unjustly maltreated and eventually executed by the Roman authorities. Why did Jesus do that? Why would such a powerful person allow Himself to go through such humiliation? Was it because He was weak? Definitely not! He thought about the impact His life, death and resurrection would have on the entire human race. He did not just look at His God-position, but He wanted the human race to have a dignified position in life. Certainly, any individual who purposefully gives up a privileged position for the sake of others is not a reed. Today, Jesus has become such a powerful phenomenon that His name is not just that of a person, but it is the centerpiece of the Christian faith – the largest religious ideology in the world. Jesus now lives in the hearts of many and is the first and final hope of many who are worn out, weak and weary.”
Mante concludes, “HUMBLE people are not fumbled people. Meekness is not weakness but it is strength at its peak, which is deliberately constrained. Choose to be humble and you will be strong.”
Humility is not about putting yourself down. Humility is about lifting others up! Humility and Self Assurance are not mutually exclusive. On the contrary, real humility requires tremendous self-confidence and I would argue God-Confidence as well.
Your Moment of Truth
Humility is directing your strengths in a way that maximizes your contribution to others!
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