Start Strong?

Usain Bolt is as of this writing, the world's fastest man. If you watch film of his races he is not the strongest starter. In fact, amongst his peers of world class runners he is remarkably average at the start of the race. It's at the 50 meter mark in a 100 meter race that he begins to pull away. If you watch interviews where he analyzes his own races, he knows this about himself so he's not the least bit disturbed if he hasn't pulled away from the pack in the first 25 meters.

What about you? Are you a strong starter? Are you a first half the day person or a last half the day person. How are you wired with regard to starts? It really doesn't matter as long as you pace yourself to win the race that is set before you.

I'm at my best from a about 6am until 1 or 2pm. I'm just wired that way. I always have been. I have friends that don't even get started until 1 or 2pm regardless of when they get up. I also know that I usually have a strong finish in me somewhere at the end of the day. This usually is around 5 to 7pm. It doesn't mean that with plenty of caffeine I can't produce during other time slots. It just means I have a time zone when I'm most productive.

In strengths language, I have a talent to be most productive earlier in the day with finale at the end. I try to work with that. I schedule my high priority presentations accordingly. If I have a task that is high priority but is a personal weakness, I am especially careful to do everything I can possibly do to get it scheduled into my productive time zone. Then I know that I will at least have that going for me.

This principle can apply to seasons and times of year as well. Some people just produce better in the winter/spring/summer/fall times. If you look at my grades in school, I was a strong starter and strong finisher. My middle quarters were not as good. And this was pretty consistent at every grade level. Some people really suffer from heat or allergy season. My wife is not nearly as productive in our summer heat. This worked well for her because she was an educator and had summers off. I have always suffered terribly with sinus problems in October when the cotton was being defoliated and the air quality was awful. For 10 years I worked on the road. I made sure I was out of the area for most of this month. If you discover these things about yourself and work with them you can be more successful. Learn to work with your natural rhythms. They are a kind of talent and can be turned into a strength just as much as much a proclivity for numbers, words, ideas, musical notes or anything else.

Make Your Resolutions Strengths Oriented

Many of us are thinking about our goals and resolutions for the coming year. In a culture where most of us believe the myth that we will advance most by growing in an area of weakness, it's no surprise that our resolutions reflect that. Stop smoking, eat less, try to be more of something you're not.

I'm not suggesting that some of these goals aren't worthwhile. I am convinced that you'll make the most progress in 2012 if you re-focus on getting even better at the things you are already good at.

Try something different this year. Spend a few days pondering your greatest areas of talent, strength, gifting, aptitude etc... Come up with at least three and limit them to around five. Then consider how to spend more time working on those areas and making them world class.

If you want to pick on a weakness. Limit it to one resolution. Then consider how to marshall one or two strengths to either minimize the weakness or eliminate it altogether.

See if this approach doesn't energize you and keep you going way past February when most are already giving up till next year.

The Strengths Based Home

The home is an ideal place to discover, develop, and lay a foundation for delivering strengths. But it doesn't always work that way.

In Mike Murdock’s book, The Law of Recognition he talks about different factors that blind us to the gifts in others. He suggests that we sometimes get obsessed with others flaws, get self-absorbed with our own goals, and get overloaded with unreasonable schedules. But Murdock tells a personal story that suggests our gender role biases get in the way as well. He begins:

“Several years ago, I went to a friends home. I enjoyed him and loved being around him. Externally, his home was gorgeous. It had wealth written all over it. But, when I entered the home, it was almost like a pigpen. It was dirty, cluttered, disorganized and even the refrigerator had dirty handprints all over it. When he started preparing me a sandwich, I declined. ‘Brother, this is too bad in here. I just can’t eat in this kind of atmosphere. In fact, your house needs cleaning bad.’

He was embarrassed greatly. ‘I know. My wife refuses to keep it clean. I pay for this house, pay the light bill and the water bill and it seems to me that the least she can do is to keep it clean.’ He was exasperated, embarrassed and humiliated by it.

‘How long have you been married?’ I asked.

‘Twenty years.’

‘I have a prophetic word for you, Brother! She is not ever going to clean this house! Ever! If you have been married for 20 years and she still keeps a dirty house, it is not her gift or desire to do so.’

‘But that is her Scriptural responsibility!’ He was fuming.

‘Not really,’ I said. ‘You can stretch that little phrase keeper of the home as long as you want to, but you cannot find Scriptural proof that it is the woman’s responsibility to vacuum her house, make up the beds and clean out toilets. That is cultural expectation, not a Scriptural command,’ I said.

I explained further: ‘You hate housework, She hates housework. There are people who love housework. It is there business. I have two ladies that have been a great blessing to my own life in cleaning my house,’ I explained.

Then I asked him another question. ‘How long does it take you to make $150.00?’ ‘About one-and-one-half hours he answered. He was a salesman.

‘I want to do something for you. I want to pay the two ladies who clean my house to clean your house for three days. It will take at least that long to get it decent. The reason I want to pay to do this is so you will have a memory of how beautiful a home can be when it’s clean and in order. I want you to work an extra one-and-one-half hours each month to make the 150 extra dollars. Take the 150 extra dollars and have your house cleaned.’

I asked him serious questions. “Why did you marry your wife? What did you love most about her? What was your attraction to her?” The dominant attraction determines the longevity of the relationship.

“I love her laughter. She always laughs at my jokes. She is so much fun to be with. I love to take her places, ‘ was his reply.

‘Then, while these two ladies are cleaning your house on one cleaning day every month, take your wife out to eat! Sit her on your lap in the backyard! Hug and kiss her or tell her the jokes that she loves and enjoys. But don’t make her do things that she hates to do when you can provide that for her and free her time to enjoy your presence!’

Some of us have not recognized the uncommon difference and dominant gift in those nearest us. It has cost us dearly. Recognition of the dominant gift in others will multiply the joy you receive from them.”

Mike Murdock was minister, businessman, and songwriter known for his uncommon wisdom and no-where does he display that more than in this story. Don’t get hung up on the specifics in the story although they may have perfect application to your situation.

My dad was brilliant at this. First, he was a man’s man. But he wasn’t so macho that he didn’t know how to cook, clean, run a vacuum, or do anything else around the house. His dad was the same. Some of my fondest memories were standing next to my grandfather as he washed the dishes for my grandmother. So if you come from some kind of demented culture where you think only women can do housework, get over it.

Second, when my dad started earning good money, he hired people who were very good at cleaning the house. My mom worked as a bookkeeper, something she was very good at and enjoyed. This freed up time for them to be together doing things they both enjoyed.

And this one goes both ways. There are ever increasing number of situations where wives work at jobs where they make great money, more than their husbands. I know this is a cultural adjustment for some. Well, make the adjustment. Let’s free both genders to work in roles that they both enjoy and are good at.

It is not my intention to teach here that there aren’t roles and tasks that one gender is more suited for than the other. That silliness is out there too. Men and women are often different. But from where I sit, individual differences often trump stereotypical gender differences.

Murdock’s wisdom, while rooted in the home, surely has plenty of applications in the workplace. I believe there are still plenty of roles where women just need not apply regardless of how much talent they have for a particular set of tasks. As a culture we have made dramatic improvements in my lifetime. But we still have a ways to go.

Spotting The Dominant Gift In Others

It's hard for me to imagine a greater gift than to find someone's greatest talent and shine the light on it. Most of our environments are not geared to do this. It rarely happens at home, it rarely happens at church, and it rarely happens in the workplace. Mike Murdock shares his own mistake with this in his book "The Law of Recognition". He begins:

“Greatness is within those you love. You must find it. You must focus on it. You must see it as the gift of God to you. Everything you do not have has been carefully stored in someone near you. Love is the secret map to that treasure.

One of the major mistakes in my life happened many years ago. A young lady worked for me who was incredibly spontaneous, happy, and joyful. When she walked into a room, everything smiled. Her gift was enthusiasm. She headed my music company.

One day, I pulled open the filing cabinets. Everything was in disarray. Bank statements had been misfiled and labeled. It looked like a catastrophe. Upset, I called her into my office.

“I love you very much. You are very special to me, but I cannot have disorder in my office. I suggest that you go to Bible School. I will pay your way through Bible College. I know you love God and God has his hand on your life.”

She cried. I cried. For weeks afterwards, it was like my office was a funeral home. I never realized my staff was so boring until she left! It was like death in the place. Months later, it dawned on me. I wanted her to be a coach but God had given her the personality of a cheerleader:

She was a motivator, not an educator.
Her gift was joy, not judgement.
Her gift was spontaneity, not structure.
Her gift was enthusiasm, not efficiency.

Since then I have tried hard to search for the dominant core gift of those near me. It is important to feed that gift, build on that gift and not become preoccupied with their weakness. Your circle of friends can offer you motivation, mentorship, correction, loyalty, or celebration. Nobody contains it all."

This is a powerful story that I need to re-read on a regular basis. If we are honest, I think we all have our own version of this story. Maybe we even a regular version with how we approach a child, a spouse, a parent. I immerse myself in strengths material on a daily basis. But it's so easy to slip into focusing on what someone is not instead of the amazing package of gifts they are.

Put the spotlight on the dominant strength of someone you live or work with today. Discover it with them. Describe it. Offer help in Developing It. And help them on to the appropriate stage, on to the chair that sits empty without their unique talent. Help them Deliver their gift today!

A Christmas Strengths Message

Susy and I were coming home from the gym and the grocery store this Christmas Eve morning, joyfully singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Susy is the talented singer in our family who sang in a rock band for 25 years. She has a wonderful voice. Me, not so much. I am the thinker/philosopher who these days gets great joy out of spotting strengths in others. It occurred to me as we finished this Christmas Classic, what a great strengths message this fun carol sends us all, if we are awake to it.

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, 

Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen., 

But do you recall 

The most famous reindeer of all? 



Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

Had a very shiny nose, 

And if you ever saw it, 

You could even say it glows. 



All of the other reindeer 

Used to laugh and call him names; 

They never let poor Rudolph 

Join in any reindeer games. 



Then one foggy Christmas Eve, 

Santa came to say: 

Rudolph with your nose so bright, 

Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" 



Then how the reindeer loved him 

As they shouted out with glee, 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, 

You'll go down in history."

Like Rudolph, we all have some special mission to serve in the world. And like Rudolph, we all have some strength that causes us to shine in that work. Some of us have been teased, put down, or excluded for that quality. Like Rudolph, each of us has a season, or as Winston Churchill wrote: “To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents.” Often it’s a problem you were meant to solve or participate in solving. Maybe this is your season, your time to acknowledge your special gift, that special thing you add to the team. Perhaps like Mary, over 2000 years ago, something is quickening inside you. Maybe you are being nudged to participate in some task God has set aside just for you. Merry Christmas!

"You'll Be A Lousy Attorney"

Today’s post comes from Kris Valloton an associate pastor at Bethel Church in Redding, California. I’ve visited this church and if you are ever in the area I recommend it highly.

Kris writes in his book Supernatural Ways of Royalty:

“You have to be a human being before you are a human doing. When we try to do something without first being someone, we usually find ourselves making a living at a job we hate. Another ramification of this failure to discover true identity is that many people learn to derive their self-esteem from what they do. This may seem fine for a while if they perform well. When they can’t perform anymore, for whatever reason, their self esteem goes into the pit.

This point was driven home to me a while back when I took a long plane trip to the South Pacific. I sat next to a young college student. We had an 11-hour flight together and we seemed to have nothing in common. After a couple of hours I decide to try to get some sleep. When I closed my eyes I had a thought about the young man sitting next to me.

I turned to him and asked, “What do you want to do with your life?”

“I want to be an attorney,” he replied.

I found myself saying, “You’ll be a lousy attorney!”

He perked up and in an angry voice snapped back, “What do you mean by that?”

I said, Attorneys have an extremely high value for justice. They need justice so badly that they will violate relationships to get it. You have a really high value for relationships. You need to be validated, loved and nurtured. Your need for justice is low on your priority list. The first time you get into court and have to attack someone’s character to make your case, you’re not going to sleep at night.”

“That’s exactly right!” he said.

“You know what you need to do?”

“No, what?” he replied.

“You have an amazing gift mix. You have a very creative side that expresses itself in something like acting. You also have an extremely left-brained side that likes to organize things and administrate them. I see your bedroom being really organized and the clothes in your closet hanging in the order of color. You would be a great movie director if you would give yourself to that.”

He almost jumped out of his seat. He said excitedly, “I do organize my room and my clothes just like you described. I have always wanted to be a director and I was the head of my drama class in high school!”

“That’s what you need to do with your life,” I told him. “You’re the next Stephen Spielberg!”

Many of us spend our lives doing something that is very different from who we are. When our activities are an expression of our person, it is amazing how much we enjoy what we do.”

I don't know if you'll ever have the good fortune of meeting Kris Valloton. He has become well known for his uncanny insight into people's lives. But let this short passage serve as your own wake up call.

What Are You Insanely Great At?

Bruce Lee was great in the martial arts.  He had a physical gift and went on to develop it as the clip below suggests...almost beyond imagination.
 
One of my hobbies is collecting and asking questions that lead people to richer more fulfilling places in their lives. One of my favorites is “What are you insanely great at?” It is designed to get people to think about their strengths, talents, and gifts and how often and how well they are utilizing them in life and business. I believe we each have a unique contribution to make, something we were designed by our creator to do that is unique to each of us as individuals. He molded and shaped and formed us to fulfill a unique destiny, to play a special role in making this world a better place.
 

Getting a firm grasp on the answer to this question and regularly implementing it can literally transform you. Your satisfaction and significance will skyrocket and in many cases so will your income.Dr. Srully Blotnick did a study involving a cross section of 1500 people analyzing the common denominators of those who became wealthy. Out of that group 83 became millionaires. He found that the only common denominator was that they patiently and persistently worked in a vocation doing things they liked to do and were very good at. He outlines his findings in the book, Getting-Rich-Your-Own-Way. The book didn’t suggest that these people were ecstatic every hour of every day but that they were regularly and consistently absorbed, engaged, and enthralled with their work.

From a time management point of view or an income point of view, the biggest waste of your time is to consistently spend it on something you dislike and aren’t very good at. Usually they are the same thing. If by chance you are good at something you don’t enjoy, you will never be great at it. You won’t spend the time necessary to develop your talent. So find the strengths you enjoy using and pour your heart into those. This should be great news to those that have been exposed to the myth that successful people are those that spend time doing things they don’t like.

Leadership expert John Maxwell has a theory I completely subscribe to: On a scale of 1-10 with one being awful and ten being insanely great the most you can probably hope to improve is two notches. If you are 4 you probably have potential to be a 6. If you are a 7 you probably have potential to be a 9. So focus on the investing your time in places you are at least a 7 or 8 on natural ability alone. These are the places you can be insanely great by applying the necessary effort.

How can you know what you’re great at? The best advice I can give you is try stuff, notice results, get some feedback, and pay attention to what you enjoy. By the way, don’t focus only on feedback from others. History is paved with geniuses in every discipline who were initially thought to be very untalented. On the other hand if you are the only one that thinks you’re great, you may have a problem.

In the coming weeks we will also look at some "Strength Indicators".  These are resources designed to get you thinking about your talents, aptitudes, and gifts.  Most aren't tests in the purest sense but vehicles to point you in the right direction.