Saturday, August 20, 2011
"You'll Be A Lousy Attorney"
Kris writes in his book Supernatural Ways of Royalty:
“You have to be a human being before you are a human doing. When we try to do something without first being someone, we usually find ourselves making a living at a job we hate. Another ramification of this failure to discover true identity is that many people learn to derive their self-esteem from what they do. This may seem fine for a while if they perform well. When they can’t perform anymore, for whatever reason, their self esteem goes into the pit.
This point was driven home to me a while back when I took a long plane trip to the South Pacific. I sat next to a young college student. We had an 11-hour flight together and we seemed to have nothing in common. After a couple of hours I decide to try to get some sleep. When I closed my eyes I had a thought about the young man sitting next to me.
I turned to him and asked, “What do you want to do with your life?”
“I want to be an attorney,” he replied.
I found myself saying, “You’ll be a lousy attorney!”
He perked up and in an angry voice snapped back, “What do you mean by that?”
I said, Attorneys have an extremely high value for justice. They need justice so badly that they will violate relationships to get it. You have a really high value for relationships. You need to be validated, loved and nurtured. Your need for justice is low on your priority list. The first time you get into court and have to attack someone’s character to make your case, you’re not going to sleep at night.”
“That’s exactly right!” he said.
“You know what you need to do?”
“No, what?” he replied.
“You have an amazing gift mix. You have a very creative side that expresses itself in something like acting. You also have an extremely left-brained side that likes to organize things and administrate them. I see your bedroom being really organized and the clothes in your closet hanging in the order of color. You would be a great movie director if you would give yourself to that.”
He almost jumped out of his seat. He said excitedly, “I do organize my room and my clothes just like you described. I have always wanted to be a director and I was the head of my drama class in high school!”
“That’s what you need to do with your life,” I told him. “You’re the next Stephen Spielberg!”
Many of us spend our lives doing something that is very different from who we are. When our activities are an expression of our person, it is amazing how much we enjoy what we do.”
I don't know if you'll ever have the good fortune of meeting Kris Valloton. He has become well known for his uncanny insight into people's lives. But let this short passage serve as your own wake up call.
Coaching, Class, and Collaborator Comments
The Purpose of this letter is to describe the benefits I enjoyed from my coaching experience with Dale Cobb. I had a very specific issue, which I needed help getting over the hump with. Our conversations were very helpful in keeping me on track and getting me to the finish line. I believe that Dale is a keen observer of the human condition and has the ability to reflect back an individuals thoughts and goals as one strives for success. I found the services offered by Dale to be timely and effective. In the future, I am sure I will be presented with challenges that require outside assistance. When that time comes, I will not hesitate to call on Dale for his fresh bright and insightful guidance.
“I would like to take the opportunity to offer my recommendation for Dale Cobb. He has the remarkable ability to clearly listen to a problem, understand the issues and suggest a course of action that satisfies the needs of me and my clients. I cannot tell you how many times his advice was precisely what I needed to close a deal or carefully resolve a difficult situation. He is resourceful and creative in his teaching style. Over all he helped me to be more efficient and successful in my career.”
“Dale gives attention to detail and runs one of the best team meetings I’ve ever seen. He has the keen ability to make complex things seems simple enough that anyone could understand them.”
“Thank you for all your time and encouragement. With your advice and direction, I was able to get a decent job offer. They even complimented my resume.”
Ben Davidson, Visalia, CA
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